Wednesday, May 20, 2009

#8 The Local Attractions


#8 Local Attractions

Chateaugay, New York is not what one would call a "tourist destination", the cottage is no where close to luxury lodging, but one thing is for certain, many memories have been formed at the various quirky local attractions the area has to offer.  For those who call the Midwest states home, Meijer & Kroger are the supermarkets of choice offering familiar cuisine and layout.  No such stores can be found around Chateaugay Lake, instead we have to hunter-gather our way through the wild untamed country of the IGA or Alix's True Value in the town of Chateaugay where you can get your very own embroidered Chateaugay, NY hooded sweat shirt, any item in Car-hart's product line and a washer/dryer combo all in one stop.  For those more accustomed to "modern" shopping, the town of Malone has a Price Chopper, Wal-Mart and a K-Mart to choose from.

As any true American consumer would tell you, a town with a Wal-Mart is a happening place and Malone is no exception.  As previously mentioned Malone is home to the local 'Chopper and its no doubt that our arrival marks a banner day for the local grocer.  One can imagine the spectacle, several young men (in their mid-twenties) roaming the store with 2 full carts supermarket sweep-style searching for everything we need to feed up to 8 man-sized appetites for 10 days.  Needless to say, I'm sure fathers see us coming and hide their daughters and mothers keep their infants close as if a herd of elephants was roaming loose through the aisles.  With one cart stacked full of Price Chopper brand 3-liters of pop and the other maxed out with produce, dry goods and enough meat to make even Ron Jeremy blush we make our way to the check-out where we undoubtedly provide the most entertainment any cashier has seen in months.  In the distance we see the poor high school-age bag-boys casting lots to see who's unlucky enough to have to bag the metric ton of items we purchase.  The groceries alone are packed in enough plastic bags to kill 1,000 baby seals (maybe one year we'll spring for paper).  

Directly across the street from the 'Chopper lies the Jug, providing the last best opportunity to refill any liquor and wine needs.  For beer there is no where better than A&M Beverage, buying a half barrel of Genny and doing everything possible to "bring the keg back the right way eh" so we don't have to suffer the indignity of bringing back anything but an empty keg to that heavy set guy with the cool scar and funky Canadian/Northern New England accent.

Most Chateaugay veteran's know that we don't actually spend much time in the actual town of Chateaugay.  Even so, it does still have its place in our memories.  Whether its good natured Catholic kindness, our enthusiastic singing of the hymns, our portable amature EMT skills or the fact that we lower the average age by about 30 years, we always seem to recieve a warm welcome at St. Patrick's Church on Sunday mornings.  Following Sunday Mass, tradition leads us to the breakfast buffet at the Cherry-Knoll where Don Mattingly is God in the shrine of the late 80's early 90's Bronx Bombers (Make sure you get a glass of whole milk and a slice of pie).

As for attractions closer to camp The Hollywood proves to be the lake's only oasis, providing a boat-accessable gas pump.  I'm sure they're all too thrilled with a pontoon full of guys all smoking cigars pulling up to their station ready to fill 'er up on overpriced gasoline.  Considering they're the only gas station in a 20 mile radius, it is a small price to pay.  Another oft had tradition is the annual go-to-Martin's Bait & Tackle-and-buy-a-fishing-license-just-to-make-sure-no-one-ever-catches-another-pike-ever adventure.  One year, in an effort to be health-conscience we even created the Martin's Bait & Tackle Road Race but due to an unfortunate injury the competition was called off and never repeated.  

Of course the two hot-spots by the lake would have to be, Harrigan's by day and the Owly Out by night.  For a mid-week taste of local night-life or an illegal (aledgedly) poker operation, the Owly Out is the place to go.  Featuring moderate beverage prices, pool, make-shift karaoke and a chance at interacting with Counselors from Camp Chateaugay, the Owly Out is a nice place to visit but if its mid-day or early evening cream that you crave or possibly a last supper on the last night before making the early morning departure on the way back home, Harrigan's is the place for you.  Now, for those of us in the mid-west, a local ice-cream/grill shop is nothing new or special but with a helmet-clad crew trying to order a slim jim flurry, the occasional stretch Hummer limo, piling 4 dudes in the back of a Caddy (while one is dropping medly), Mr. Toad's wild ride home and getting shot down by the locals, both the Owly Out and Harrigan's provide a nice change of pace to an otherwise secluded vacation. 

The local attractions are just one of the many reasons we love Chateaugay Lake.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

#9 The Cemetary

After a long hiatus we continue the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay mancation:

#9 The Cemetary

As if being out in the middle of the woods by a lake in an ancient cottage built by some of the worst deathrow inmates in the state wasn't enough to draw comparisons to the setting of a horror fim.  Just a few hundred yards away lies a cemetary that serves as the final resting place to dozens of pople from the Civil War era.  The creepiest being a set of triplets all dying in a 3 year window.

Now, one would think that the fact that you can see the headstones from the dock would be enough of an eerie reminder of the possibility of the paranormal, add to that the stories told by the Ryan family about a certain "visitor".  According to eyewitness accounts, several "Greyface" sightings have been noted peeking in windows late at night at the cottage.

No week in Chateaugay would be complete without a late night trip through the woods, a test of fortitude to be certain.  Men make the long walk at night, real men make the trek with no flashlight and yet only one man has ever done it alone.  One year during a traditional trip to the graveyard, several people claim to have seen a little girl crossing their path into the woods by the grave yard.  The story goes that she walked by, stopped to look at them and then made her way into the forest with no flashlight, wearing pajamas in the middle of the night.  Other times have been marked by tiki-torches, shirtless expeditions, blinding cobwebs, deer, lost wallets and cuddling on the path.

Packed full of tradition and memories, the Cemetary is just another reason we love Chateaugay Lake Mancation.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

#10 The Drive

Continuing the series on the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation:

#10 The Drive

At first glance an 11+ hour drive (almost 14 for Cincinnatians) each way would seem like the bane of any traveler's vacation, but with any true pilgrimage, the journey is has its own place in the adventure.  Yes, just like migratory birds heading north for the summer, we load into various vehicles and travel the same roads, stopping at the same landmarks year after year.  From the first stop in Erie, PA to the bittersweet passage through 2 states only to realize there's still about 8 hours left to go.  Then passing through the western tip of New York you see decieving signs for Chautauqua Lake giving us all an instant of false hope, thinking we had reached our destination.  Next is the required stop at the Angola Service station just outside of Buffalo where the prices are more inflated than a blowfish at the zoo after the six year old banged on his tank for too long.  (Some conversations overheard at the McDonald's at said service station "I'll have a McDouble, fries and a drink off the $5 menu."  "Wow, only $12.50 for a Big Mac value meal?")   After a quick gas stop and a right turn at Buffalo, Rochester passes by and then Syracuse.  As Watertown approaches, the goal is in sight.  One last stop for food at the Ft. Drum McDonalds (whether you're hungry or not) and its on to the last major leg.  Traveling through Gouverneur (where keeping it "all in the family" takes on a whole new meaning), Canton and Pottsdam taking 11b regardless of what Google maps, Mapquest and AAA say is faster you go this way because Steve Ryan says so... and because its tradition.  One last chuckle as the route takes you through the towns of Bangor and West Bangor then its on to Malone (or the last bit of "civilization" you'll see) for the supply stop.  Only the nescessities on this shopping trip, a case of beer, food for the next day and toilet paper, the rest comes tomorrow, but right now its down the home stretch to camp.  The rest of the trip is quite magical, in the daytime there is one moment where the trees and houses open up and you have a crystal clear view of the lake in all its splendor with the tees and mountians in the background.  For me, that's when I know I've arrived.  Then its a few minutes until you make the right turn past those timeless white lightposts, down the unpaved road through the woods to the Ryan-Hyland compound just as you had left it 12 months ago.  Congratulations, you have just entered the timewarp, you have just arrived in God's country.

All seriousness aside, some of the great Mancation memories have come from the drive, whether its overnight, during the day or some combination of both.  John and Brian making the trip from Baltimore... The 6 degrees of Carrie Ewles... Patrick's gobbler, showing up with his Bronson Arroyo hat and Ryan Freel's dirty shirt...Joking about "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd all week only to have it play on the radio 5 minutes from home...Jered, Ken and me all squeezing into Gary's Caddy and having the seat attack him like a scene out of Star Wars...Ken's all night at the helm... who can forget cracking jokes while eating at the Erie, PA McDonald's, passing through Bangor, or passing by the "Local Honey" shack. Of course just about everyone of us has had some bathroom emergency, from having to spill beans at a Bob Evans to having to urinate like a thouroughbread one hour away from your final destination.  Anything I'm missing?

That's why the drive is one of the reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation.