25 Random Things About Me

So I've fallen victim to the facebook-meme curse

1. I always finish what I start, follow-through is very important to me and it is something that I pride myself on.

2. I think Bananas are shy, Pineapples are contemplative and Apples are the most social fruit.

3. Given the choice between sneezing skittles and burping popcorn I would choose to fart confetti .

4. I play the drums but they don't know it so lets keep this between us.

5. I believe that pulling a band-aid off quickly is a cop-out.

6. I really want to try to eat so many vegetables that I get sick. Then I can say that vegetables aren't good for me.

7. If you've never realized how stupid the saying "give yourself a pat on the back" really is, try it... no seriously, try it... there now, don't you feel retarded? (OK so that wasn't about me, but I had to get that off my chest)

8. I prefer black beans over any other type of bean.

9. My name last spelled backwards is Smailliw.

10. I think I may have Enissophobia, so don't judge me OK.

11. I get distracted easily and tend to lose my train of...

12. I own a black trench coat and I really liked to wear it... until those punks at Columbine ruined it for me.

13. I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

14. I think its weird that every concession stand has the token jar of huge pickles and yet I don't know anyone who buys them...ever. On that note, I guess I would find it very awkward to watch someone eat a pickle... or a banana for that matter. I'm not sure any guy could look masculine eating either a gigantic pickle or banana, that's why I have personally boycotted the eating of such items.

15. I believe I am unique just like everybody else.

16. I took a bathroom break after typing #15 and almost dropped my phone in the toilet, that would have been a disaster.

17. I love my wife Abby for the weirdest things, like the random conversations she has in her sleep like the one time she told me that this was her home town (we were not in her home town by the way) and she was proud of it no matter what our dog says. Or the time she woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that things were not right because she wasn't sure who took her chalupa.

18. I often wonder why a collection of mixed fruit it called a "fruit cocktail" while a collection of mixed vegetables are called a "vegetable medley".

19. I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and have the glass in front be a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

20. I am slightly obsessive about making as many right turns as possible while driving. It actually freaks me out if my commute is made up of all left turns, I can't handle it emotionally.

21. This should have been titled "20 Random Things About Me"

22. I like to rock and roll all night, and part of everyday. But not the whole day because I might have stuff to do later.

23. The most random phrase I can think of right now is "Tomahawk-doorknob". Which is what I think of everytime I need something random to say.

24. I always use the handicapped stall in restrooms mostly because it is my way of getting back at them for parking in our parking spots.

25.

Baseball Ettiquite

Since the Baseball season is in full swing (pun intended) my good friend Jered (check out his blog jeredryan.blogspot.com) and I decided to discuss fan ettiquite online today...

J: What's proper foul ball etiquette? Are you obligated to give one to a kid? Is it ok to mug for the camera if you catch one on about six bounces? Is it cool for a 30 year old to bring a glove? We'll discuss today.

Me: I don't think you are obligated to give it to a kid unless one is in your group one of your nieces for instance and only if she brought her mitt

J: but what if you took the kid out to get it?

Me: but I think you have to stick to a one ball limit...once you acquire a second it needs to be given up... or used in various graphic gestures towards the other team

Are you in the family section?

J: no

Me: is it a boy under 13 or a girl under 15?

J: yes

Me: I think once it becomes apparent that you have to move more than a row forward or backward or over 7 or more seats laterally you must take a brief check of the competition, no man over 18 should pursue a ball further than that distance if kids of said gender/age are also in pursuit unless you're in the bleachers and its totally empty then its like a war zone

Is that issue closed? on to number 2?

J: On to 2 . . .

Me: *Is it ok to mug for the camera if you catch one on about six bounces?*
The only reason to mug for the camera is if you catch the ball bare-handed, if you acquire the ball without spilling the beer in your dominant hand or no more than half of said beer in the non-dominant hand. Or if the ball hits another member of your group, then you are obligated to show more excitement for catching the ball than you show concern for your buddy's well-being

J: well said

Me: #3?

J: yes

me: *Is it cool for a 30 year old to bring a glove*

I'm torn on this one... i say yes

but I think the cut-off point is once you bring kids it is no longer acceptable to don the mitt

Also, you shouldn't bring a mitt if you're bringing your girl friend/significant other

J: really? A glove makes you seem kinda gay

Me: Baseball is a kids game, its nostalgic, a glove, hat & jersey add to that...now if you're with a chick its different no mitt

I think if you "look" like you can play then you can bring a mitt or if you look like you have played in the last year.

The whole point of bringing the mitt is just in case all the reserve players go down with some injury, the manager can pull you out of the crowd... after all, he's already seen your mad skills catching that ball off your buddy's head and imagine if you're at a Reds game and Dusty Baker picks you out of the crowd and says he needs you at short stop... how embarrassed would you be telling him "no" because you left your mitt at home

J: good point. . . that makes sense

Google Maps Have The Answer

So, I was browsing Google Maps today and I discovered that Google really does know everything. Check this out

Who would have guessd that would be so easy? Seriously, does our military have access to Google? If so we've been wasting millions of dollars...

On Notice

Who's been "On Notice" this week?

First off, "your mom" is not only the best, most classic comeback of all time, its also very easy to use....(must...resist..."your mom" reference here)...

What's up with people who die and get really large tombstones? I'm not talking about the "I need a big tombstone so I can fit my whole polish last name on it" tombstone. I mean those gigantic obelisks that eclipse everything else in the whole cemetery... You're dead, nobody probably liked you when you were alive and instead of giving that money to charity or to your ungrateful next-of-kin, you decided to waste your dough on a functionless sundial...

Adam "Pacman" Jones... So this is the guy who was involved in a triple shooting in a Las Vegas strip-club, was suspended from the NFL for the entire 2007 season for his role in at least 9 incidents since he was drafted in 2005. Now he's being punished for his actions so you say lets forgive and forget, right? WRONG, now this loser is appealing his suspension, further proving he doesn't get it and he hasn't learned from his mistakes (not that he hasn't had at least 9 opportunities).

Copycat Police Dramas just tick me off and it all started with Law & Order. Now, the producers of said show couldn't stop with just one.... nooooo, the had to keep making more (Special Victims Unit, Criminal Intent, Trial By Jury). When will the madness stop. Now we have all kinds of "legal" & "police procedural" dramas that all look the same, give or take a psychic, a genius mathematician, a cheeky lawyer, an overly dramatic CSI Head Investigator Lieutenant (I'm looking your way Horatio), a quirky computer geek or whatever else you want to "add" to the show to make it "different" from all of the rest.

Men who drink appletinis, you know who you are... just because they "taste good" doesn't mean that you can still be considered a man while drinking one (and especially not in public). Man Law: Any man who witnesses another man ordering an Appletini is required to pour said drink in the lap of the man who ordered it once it arrives. No other explanation is necessary, if you feel words need to be said to break the following awkward silence a firm "you're welcome" is acceptable.

Girls with mustaches: gross... just gross...*next*

"Business Casual": You're just opening up a Pandora's box here... where do we draw the line? How about the gaudy Hawaiian shirts? What about those faux-khaki's that have the zip off bottoms to make shorts? Do you really want to see what that guy from accounting looks like in shorts?

Mouth Breathers: I just love that eerie semi-wheezing sound, part death rattle, part snore.

Icicles of death

This was what greeted us today when we debated the prospects of "weathering" the ramp before service, of course we had to take matters in our own hands and knock them all down... hillarity ensued.