On Notice

Who's been "On Notice" this week?

First off, "your mom" is not only the best, most classic comeback of all time, its also very easy to use....(must...resist..."your mom" reference here)...

What's up with people who die and get really large tombstones? I'm not talking about the "I need a big tombstone so I can fit my whole polish last name on it" tombstone. I mean those gigantic obelisks that eclipse everything else in the whole cemetery... You're dead, nobody probably liked you when you were alive and instead of giving that money to charity or to your ungrateful next-of-kin, you decided to waste your dough on a functionless sundial...

Adam "Pacman" Jones... So this is the guy who was involved in a triple shooting in a Las Vegas strip-club, was suspended from the NFL for the entire 2007 season for his role in at least 9 incidents since he was drafted in 2005. Now he's being punished for his actions so you say lets forgive and forget, right? WRONG, now this loser is appealing his suspension, further proving he doesn't get it and he hasn't learned from his mistakes (not that he hasn't had at least 9 opportunities).

Copycat Police Dramas just tick me off and it all started with Law & Order. Now, the producers of said show couldn't stop with just one.... nooooo, the had to keep making more (Special Victims Unit, Criminal Intent, Trial By Jury). When will the madness stop. Now we have all kinds of "legal" & "police procedural" dramas that all look the same, give or take a psychic, a genius mathematician, a cheeky lawyer, an overly dramatic CSI Head Investigator Lieutenant (I'm looking your way Horatio), a quirky computer geek or whatever else you want to "add" to the show to make it "different" from all of the rest.

Men who drink appletinis, you know who you are... just because they "taste good" doesn't mean that you can still be considered a man while drinking one (and especially not in public). Man Law: Any man who witnesses another man ordering an Appletini is required to pour said drink in the lap of the man who ordered it once it arrives. No other explanation is necessary, if you feel words need to be said to break the following awkward silence a firm "you're welcome" is acceptable.

Girls with mustaches: gross... just gross...*next*

"Business Casual": You're just opening up a Pandora's box here... where do we draw the line? How about the gaudy Hawaiian shirts? What about those faux-khaki's that have the zip off bottoms to make shorts? Do you really want to see what that guy from accounting looks like in shorts?

Mouth Breathers: I just love that eerie semi-wheezing sound, part death rattle, part snore.