40 days of nothing (new).

I have decided to take Lent seriously this year, not because I believe in the cerimonial act of half-heartedly "giving up" something that we can otherwise live without. I remember as a non-Christian kid, not knowing what Lent was all about, claiming that I would be giving up homework for the 40 days and furthermore I would be giving it up for the entire school year. I was so humble and self-sacrificing, infact, that I offered to give up chores, bathing and strawberry-banana bubblicious (my least favorite flavor) as well. In later years, still not embracing the true meaning and devotion of the lenten season, I vowed to give up watching women's basketball... both College and the WNBA. You could tell I was serious.

This year I have decided to raise my own personal awareness to the hold consumerism has on my life. Sarting today (Ash Wednesday) I will purchase only necessities for sustenance, health, community and business. I am not trying to preach the gospel of poverty or minimalism, I am not trying to condem others for their spending. I have no illusion that forgoing this DVD or that new article of clothing is going to bring down our consumer culture and I don't even know if I want it to be brought down.

Consumption is social, it happens in a much larger structure than just one individual or community. But it is also personal, once we've met the lowest and most basic of human needs (thank you Maslow), shopping is emotional. For me, the art of purchasing is an emotional experience. At work for instance, if I'm having a bad day I will be drawn in to buying a Mt. Dew Code Red from the vending machine that becons me from just outside my office door. I don't need the Mt. Dew, but I make the purchase anyway. In my mind, the slow and ominous process of a dollar bill being devoured by the machine and the brief pause before the it produces a robust thud gives me pleasure. Usually the cost of consumerism ammounts to a dollar in a vending machine here and there but there are times when I feel phsically depressed if I don't have an ebay purchase on its way to my house. The spending frenzy was very appearent on Monday night, I was on the computer while two of my friends (Jered & Sara) were talking about how cool Nightmare: The Video Board Game was on VHS and how they wished we had it now. Of course I did what any other rational, frugal human being would have done in that situation: I found it on ebay in DVD format and made the "buy it now" purchase... and in an instant, I felt better about life.

I am not sure of the actual "rules" for this purchasing fast but hopefully it will become more appearant as the days go on. Starting from this moment I am going to face the marketing machine head on and uncover a hidden addiction in my life. Starting now I am not going to give into my impulse-buying habits...right after I buy that Mt. Dew.